


Going, Going, Gone - Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

by Chantelle_x0x



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Hurt Steve Rogers, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 04:49:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17860610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chantelle_x0x/pseuds/Chantelle_x0x
Summary: Steve’s gone, but he comes back! Only to leave again. But being worried about you fighting since you could get hurt shouldn’t be the only reason for him to be worried. Not with a powerful person to beat.





	Going, Going, Gone - Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader

**Author's Note:**

> This is a piece I am SO FREAKING PROUD of! Like, I’m so excited to get this out! There is so much angst but like, c’mon! Angst is amazing! The last line of this fic though, prepare! Also, the main reason this was written was because the very talented and lovely @wxntersoldiers (tumblr)! Congratulations on 3K+ followers! Your writing is amazing and I loved all the prompts! So happy I could get this one!

** Prompt: **   **You're leaving me? Again?**

* * *

 

The aftermath of Civil War was hard on you. You never signed the Accords and that was due to two things; you didn’t agree with what was written and your love for the captain himself. You two hit it off from the start; Steve met with Sharon for lunch once, but you shyly interrupted before they left, needing to give Sharon some paperwork. Yes, you worked with Sharon, but you were a recent ex HYDRA agent. You went through the trust things that you had to go through and it worked out really well, so you became part of the Avengers because well, you knew HYDRA’s weak spots. After building up enough courage, he asked you out for dinner and you happily said yes. It was the start of something amazing, and it continued being beautiful; at least until Civil War happened. When Steve came to save all of you, he had other plans for _you._

‘You’re staying with Tony.’ Steve whispered to you as you were all getting out.

‘Steve, I’m a fugitive too. You can’t just leave me to get put in prison. _Again._ ’ You hated the thought of being away from Steve for who knows how long. He was going away and leaving you behind. It kind of made you feel as though you weren’t needed anymore in both a partner in crime and in life way. 

‘I don’t want you to get hurt Y/N. You’re safer staying with Tony.’

‘No I’m not! I’ll get thrown into prison because I didn’t sign the Accords _and_ because I escaped from here! I’m not safer, in fact, I’m less safe!’ You argued trying to get Steve to take you with him.

‘Tony will keep you safe.’ He replied not looking at you. 

‘How do you know that? This all happened because of you both! You both couldn’t be civil!’ Steve turned to you and you could swear you had never seen his eyes so cold before. ‘I didn’t mean it like that Steve.’ 

‘Then what did you mean? Because to me it sounded like you were blaming _me_.’ 

‘No, I wasn’t. I’m not blaming anyone!’ You stepped closer to him. ‘Look, I get what you wanted to do for Buck, and you’re still helping him, but I shouldn’t have to stay with Tony. I helped you and I didn’t signthe Accords. I’m just like you, or Buck or even Wanda! Why won’t you let me come away with you?!’ You were practically begging him, when he hesitated his answer, your brain imminently jumped to conclusions. ‘Is it that you don’t want me anymore?’ You mumbled quietly. Steve’s expressions changed completely and he quickly pulled you into a warm hug.

‘No, no my love. I just want you to be safe and out of harms way. I want you to be alive when I come back. Please understand that.’ You sniffled as you tried to dig your head deeper into Steve’s chest. 

‘Come back home to me Stevie. Please promise me.’ He nodded and kissed your forehead.

‘I promise.’ 

* * *

You stayed with Tony for a while, but you soon left because as much as he tried to not do it, he always seemed to bring up how you followed Steve and are now living with him. It hurt you because that was never your intention. You soon found an apartment that wasn’t too bad on rent and it wasn’t all that far from the compound. You hadn’t heard from Steve in two years and it was hard to live every day without hearing from him. You didn’t even know if he was alive or not. Your mind would sometimes wonder to if he still thought about you like you did him, but you always fund a way to busy yourself when those negative thoughts made their way into your mind.

After two years of being on your own, you got used to your routine. You’d go to work at 9am, get home by 5pm, get dinner happening at 6, then relax until you were tired. Your day was sort of like a broken record; always on repeat, nothing ever changing. So, today wasn’t unusual. You did your thing, but at about 9pm your routine was disrupted. A knock on your front door took your attention away from the movie on your TV. 

‘Who is it?’ You called looking at the door. No one responded so you put your attention back to the movie. Another knock happened, but this time it was louder. You sighed and got up, taking your gun and walking to your door. You unlocked the door and opened it quickly pulling the gun with you. ‘Steve! What the hell? You scared me.’ You breathed throwing the gun on the couch and wrapped your arms around his neck. ‘I’m so happy it’s you.’ You whispered against his neck. You could feel him relax under your touch as he wrapped you tightly against himself. 

‘Let’s get inside.’ He mumbled. You nodded and grabbed his hand, pulling him inside before closing the door. 

‘Coffee?’ You ask as he looks around your apartment. 

‘That’d be great thanks.’ You smile and start making coffee for the both of you. You soon felt his arms wrap around your waist as you reached up for cups. He nuzzled your neck and breathed you in. ‘I really missed you.’ He said quietly against your neck. 

‘You could've called.’ You said a little sharply. You didn’t mean to lose your temper, but he did leave you two years ago and never even tried to contact you. 

‘It wasn’t safe.’ You turned around and gave him a cup. 

‘Let’s talk on the couch. There’s a lot we need to talk about.’ You suggest.

‘Yes, starting with what you’re doing here and not in Tony’s care.’ You rolled your eyes and headed over to the couch sitting in the corner of it. 

‘Before you get angry, Tony was really hurt by my decision. I couldn’t hurt him anymore than I already did, and staying with him was killing him. I could see it.’ You took a sip of your warm drink before a question popped into your head. ‘How’d you know where I was?’ 

‘Do you seriously think I would leave you without any protection for such a long period of time doll? I needed to make sure you were okay.’ Steve swiped away a tear that rolled down your cheek. You were so vulnerable right now.

‘Why are you back Steve? It’s not safe for you yet.’ Steve nodded his head as he tucked a stand of your hair behind your hair and took your cup from your hands, placing both his and yours on the table, then took your hands in his.

‘There’s a guy named Thanos trying to wipe out half of humanity. He needs all the Infinity Stones to do so.’

‘And you came here to ask for my help?’ You asked, a smile crossing your face.

‘Not exactly.’ You quirked an eyebrow as your smile started to fade. ‘I came by because I’ll need to go and help them fight, and I couldn’t go without seeing you again in case, well—’

‘—You don’t make it.’ You finish, avoiding eye contact. 

‘Look, Y/N—’

‘Maybe I can come and help Steve. I mean, it never hurt to have another hand right?’ Steve looked at you with desperate eyes.

‘I can’t have you get hurt in this fight Y/N.’

‘Because I’ll become a liability?’ You asked sighing. Steve shook his head quickly. 

‘No! I can’t bare to watch you get hurt because I’ve asked you to come help.’ 

‘Well, I’m stubborn as hell Steven. I’m coming!’ You start to argue with him, and you can tell he’s in no form to argue right now. ‘You know what Steve?’ Your voice softened and he looked at you with a sadness in his eyes. ‘You need rest. Sleep here tonight. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. I’ll take couch.’ You smile slightly getting up to grab blankets, but Steve pulls you down back to him.

‘I haven’t seen you in two years Y/N.’ His voice sounded strained and it definitely tucked on your heart strings. You bite your lip then take his hand in yours and pull him up from the couch.

‘My room’s this way.’ That night was possibly one of the best you’ve ever had. It was full of love, want and need. It was a feeling you had never experienced before, and there were emotions you never knew you even held. Being curled up in Steve’s embrace you realised the most important thing, Steve loved you. Although you had never exchanged the words, he did love you and you loved him. But you weren’t going to think of the possible outcomes of the fight. You couldn’t bring yourself down from this high on purpose. Not tonight. So instead, you whisper the three words that hung between the two of you. ‘I love you.’ Steve’s gaze on you is softer than you have ever seen it before. ‘I love you so much Steven Grant Rogers and I really don’t want to lose you. You made a promise last time, and you kept it, you’re back. Please don’t go! Please just stay here and keep me safe. Like you wanted!’ Steve hushed you and kissed your forehead. 

‘I love you Y/N, so _so_ much, words cannot express how strong my feelings towards you are, but the world is counting on me.’

‘I don’t care Steve! I’m counting on you too. But the world doesn’t have to live without you in the way I do! They’ll miss Captain America, _I’ll_ miss Steve Rogers!’ You couldn't keep the tears away anymore. 

‘Please doll, stop crying. I’m not going anywhere tonight. Let’s talk about everything when the sun rises.’ You nod your head against Steve’s chest and snuggle as close to him as possible, hoping he’ll decide to stay.

* * *

You wake up to Steve’s arms wrapped around your naked waist. His face nuzzling your neck. You feel a warm sensation form in yourself and you smile to yourself. You shift so you’re face to face with Steve. He’s just waking up now too and your smile grows. He’s always up before you so it was nice to be up before him for a change. ‘Good morning.’ You whisper. He pulls you ever so close to him.

‘Morning doll. How I missed waking up like this.’ You peck his nose and giggle at how he pulls away for a second. 

‘We should get up.’ You start to untangle yourself from Steve but he quickly pulls you back.

‘5 more minutes.’ He whispers, holding onto you tightly. You easily give into his request. A couple of hours later, you awake to an empty, cold bed. You pull on your robe and saunter into the kitchen. ‘Breakfast?’ Steve asks you all too quickly, setting a plate down in your spot. Your heart drops. You know what he’s doing. You only now realise he’s in his uniform again.

**‘You’re leaving me? Again?** After everything we talked about last night? Steve—’

‘I get your points Y/N, I really do, but the Avengers need my help. I was called for a reason, and that wasn’t to sit on my ass until this is all over.’ You wished you could mock him by saying _‘language’,_ but you can’t bring yourself to laugh. 

‘What happens if you don’t come home Steve? What happens if you do get hurt and I don’t know? What happens if I’m waiting years for you to come back, only to find out that you’re dead. That you’re never coming back home?’ Tears start to fall rapidly.

‘Better me than you.’ He starts to walk to the door but you beat him to it, standing in front of it and pressing your back to it.

‘No! No it’s not better! Because I’ll miss you. I have for two years already, and I’m not ready to give you back to the ungrateful world!’ He sighed and tried to touch you on the cheek, but you pull away.

‘I have to go.’ He says quietly.

‘No. No, I won’t let you.’ You say stubbornly. He sighs and pulls you away from the door. He opens the door. ‘You walk out the Rogers, and I swear that I wont forgive you for this.’ You both knew it was a lie, but he knew what he had to do. 

‘I love you Y/N.’ He said before closing the door behind him. 

‘WHY IS IT SO EASY FOR YOU TO KEEP LEAVING ME!?’ You scream throwing the closest glass item at the door, before slumping against it, not caring about the way the glass cut you. None of it added up to the pain you were feeling in your heart. You did forget that Steve could hear what happened. It killed him, but this was the right decision. Right?

* * *

When that snap happened and people started to turn to dust, it hurt everyone. One again, Steve lost Bucky. His heart shattered at the thought of losing his best friend over and over and over again. Each time hurt more and more. His mind then went straight to you. _How the hell could he get to New York now?_ It didn’t matter, because before he knew it, he was at your doorstep. He knocked. You didn’t answer. It wasn’t like the first time where you answered with a question and he didn’t answer, no, this time it was reversed. ‘Y/N? Are you there?’ No answer, so he knocked down your door. You weren’t in the kitchen, living room. _Maybe you were asleep. Or you were curled up in a ball under layers of covers._ He entered your room and you were there…just in dust.

**Author's Note:**

> **All characters (except reader) belong to Marvel (MCU). So does Infinity War and the plot of that.**  
> **Please don't post my work anywhere else.**
> 
> All of my fics will also be posted and have been posted on Tumblr at my blog: chantelle-x0x. You don't have to follow it but I just thought I'd add that in here.
> 
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